An Introduction, of sorts.

Good evening.

(clears throat)

(wheezes a woeful harmonica note)

Oooooooooooooooooooh...

i aint tryin to shave your legs
make smiley faces with your bacon and eggs
consort to report you and teleport you
have the INS deport you
judge your sin or eat your dinner
in an inn to make you thinner
crack your back or feed you tacs or
give you flack or eat your snack or
make things odd or be a bother
it's like: Luke, I'm NOT your father
no
i ain't lookin to git with you
shoot the shit and knit with you
sit with you and drink your grog
pet at your mom or discredit your dog
mess up your credit or edit your blog
kiss your sister, fist your mister,
twist your wrist or pop your blister
beat you at Twister, Scrabble, or Clue
Axis n Allies, or Cranium, too
all I really wanna do
is Baby,
be friends with you



Thank you. (Tips hat)
That's all.